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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Stalking 101

Dear Reader :]

Come on now. Aliens don't hide in the bushes. It's probably just a stalker.
~ Daria (cartoon)

Ahhhh stalking :) Admit it, one in your life you have stalked someone. They could be someone you like, someone you hate, someone you just wanna annoy the hell out of. We have all gone through it. 

So what is the meaning of stalker.

Stalk–verb (used without object)

1. to pursue or approach prey, quarry, etc., stealthily.
2. to walk with measured, stiff, or haughty strides:
3. to proceed in a steady, deliberate, or sinister manner: Famine stalked through the nation.
4. Obsolete . to walk or go stealthily along.
–noun
5. an act or course of stalking quarry, prey, or the like: We shot the mountain goat after a five-hour stalk.
9. a slow, stiff stride or gait.

According to The Urban Dictionary

-It seems to be that the term 'stalker' no longer means what it used to mean--the pathological ANONYMOUS follower and tab-keeper of another person or persons (A detective who has not been hired and has no real reason to follow someone). The old definition also would say that a 'stalker' often has an imaginary connection with the stalked.

HOWEVER, common usage of the term, along with the term 'creepy', has come to be used as a defense mechanism for anyone seeking justification for not being attracted socially or physically to someone else.

This term is nearly as over diagnosed as ADHD is in children. Any women who think an undesirable man might be interested in her will almost always automatically label him a stalker.

Note: Far too many idiots think they're more important than they really are. Real stalkers seek out beautiful, interesting, and often famous members of the attractive gender. 90 percent of the people who use the term couldn't get a real stalker to save their lives.
 
New Generation Stalkers: Facebook Stalker
:A hot girl who follows you around and shows up at your door is a friend.
:An ugly girl who follows you around and shows up at your door is now, according to most, a stalker.
:A hot guy who gives you flowers is a romantic.
:An ugly guy who gives you flowers is a stalker. 
 
Hmmm. I trust my heart in the urban dictionary. Also, another note. A friend of mine told me; "if a good looking guy has a crush on you, he's called a secret admirer. But if he's ugly then he's a stalker"
Ahahahaha ^___^

BTW, I actually found a post that tells you, step by step, how to stalk. o_0 srsly?
Step 1
Find a victim. Are you particularly attached to the person in front of you in class? How about that hottie professor? It really could be anyone. (rawrbaby sez: It could be your neighbour, who knows)

Step 2
Hang around them a lot from a safe distance. Your watchful eye will follow each movement they make. Pay attention to where they park, where they eat, where they sit when they're just hanging around.(
rawrbaby sez: bonus points if you have binoculars)
 
aaaaaaalllllwaaaaayyyysssss.
Step 3
After step 2, you should by now know what their license plate is, along with the make and model of their car. You'll want to pay particular attention to them as you are driving around. A two-car distance is good if you don't want to be spotted. (
rawrbaby sez:  if you don't have a car, you can hide behind bushes or trees)

Step 4

If they throw something away (especially crumpled up paper) take it! It could have some very valuable information. (
rawrbaby sez: then put it in a shrine that you made for them, beside your Mark David Chapman shrine)

Step 5
Google their name, find them on Facebook, Twitter, etc. They're online somewhere... Did you know you can even look up their police record?! If their misdemeanors matches yours, then it's surely meant to be! (
rawrbaby sez:  awwww, how nice,  soul mate with your cellmate)

Step 6

Find out where they live. There are so many things you can do once you have this little tidbit. You can send them flowers, a handknitted sweater made from your cat's hair, or even camp out in front of their house.(it could even be made from your own hair, with little buttons that looks like your face)

Step 7
When sending mail and messages to them, make sure it's anonymous. It's just much more cute that way, don't you think? (
rawrbaby sez:  call in the middle of the night, laugh, then hang up)
 
Step 8
Finally, never back down. Sure they'll deny having any connection to you whatsoever, but the truth is that your bond with them is so strong that they're afraid of admitting to it. It's your job to make them see the light. (
rawrbaby sez:  never say never, even when you have a restraining order)

O_O WTF!!! Who writes this stuff? :)) I dunno but itsh as funny as hell :D

So to all those stalking/mentally-stalking/creeepy stalking/want to do some stalking, here's a song for you. :D


DOOO THE CREEEP! and don't forget to smile :)

Oh, and this post is just for fun. PLEASE DO NOT STALK!! Gosh people, face the music and tell them what you feel!

DISCLAIMER:          
For those of ya'll already thinking I'm a stalker, well I am not. I used to, but only the safe stalking. But those years are waaaay behind me. (I was like 7 years old!!) I'm not endorsing the scary kind of stalking, wherein you scare the beeejezuz outta your victim person of interest. I think that's illegal. Plus it's reaallly reallly creepy. 

Stop right now, thank you very much,
I need somebody with the human touch,
Hey you always on the run,
Gotta slow it down baby, gotta have some fun :)
Anyway, that's it for today :D(i promise, not more creepy stalker posts ^_^)
More tomorrow :]

Peace out, much love, stay on the rush. Rawr!

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